Hello, I'm looking desperately for help in resolving a situation.
My wife and I own two kitties; not quite two years old, a male (Buster) and a female (Clementine) which were assumed to be litter mates. Buster is neutered and Clem is spayed.
They were six months old when we brought our daughter home. Right away, they were terrified of her, even though - as some folk here would know - a baby isn't much more than a lump, haha.
Fast forward, and she's now 17 months. The cats do NOT like her. We have done everything we can think of. Our daughter always pets them while supervised and we have taught "gentle hands." We also pet at the same time and speak sweetly and supportively to the cat in question at the time. After a positive interaction with our daughter, the cats get treats.
Our daughter has never done anything to harm the cats. She's quite shy when it comes to them, petting very gingerly and usually only a couple of strokes before she gets too bashful to keep going.
Anyhow, Buster tends to run away, so he lives in fear. We won't see him until our daughter goes to bed. Clementine, however, swiped at her once before, and the other day took a full on attempt to bite our daughter, barely missing.
How do we resolve this? CAN we resolve this? I feel awful because the cats are living in a house where they are unhappy, and if this continues they will be unhappy for years. I also feel awful because this sort of behaviour is what my daughter will grow up thinking is normal from a cat, and I don't want her disliking cats as cats have been very important to me in my lifetime. And, most importantly, I do not want my child being injured because one or both of the cats are predispositioned to be aggressive toward her.
@brianhart
Hello Brian
I am sorry to hear Clementine hasn’t adjusted to your daughter. Thank you for reaching out to seek guidance and advice.
Cats are creatures of routine and predictability. Disruptions to the home, such as babies and baby-related things, can cause some cats anxiety.
Here are a few recommendations to try out:
• Initially, cat-toddler interactions should not be direct or physical. Hands-free interactions allow both the toddler and the cat to learn that experiences with each other can be positive and rewarding.
• To help new baby items smell familiar to the cat, gently rub a cloth on the cat’s cheeks and the area in front of its ears during a relaxed moment. Then, use this cloth on new items. The cloth will pick up facial pheromones that your cat produces, which the cat recognizes as familiar, helping them feel safe and secure.
• Ensure your cats have plenty of safe and secure spaces out of the baby’s reach. Cardboard boxes made into hidey holes, perches, shelves, and igloo beds are all great options.
• Play calming music, such as classical or harp, daily to maintain a serene environment.
• Utilize vertical space, such as shelves, cat trees, perches, and stair gates, to create safe areas for your cats to hide and survey the territory.
• Allow the cat to approach the toddler at its own pace, without the risk of being grabbed or poked accidentally. One effective method is to have the child sit on your lap on the floor, using a toy or book to keep their hands busy. This way, the cat can approach the toddler freely if it feels confident, helping them get comfortable with the child nearby.
• ‘Toss the treat’ games are a fun way to entertain the toddler while teaching the cat that the toddler brings rewards, all without needing direct contact. Have the toddler sit on your lap and keep a supply of cat treats handy. Toss a treat near or in the cat's direction, and then let the toddler take a turn. Always supervise to prevent the toddler from putting treats in their mouth or throwing them at the cat.
• Clicker training can also be a great way to keep your cat engaged while providing them with undivided devotion.
• Provide equal attention to both your baby and the cats, as some cats may become ‘jealous’ of the attention given to the baby.
• Consider giving your baby a stuffed cat to help teach her about cat body language.
• Adding enrichment to the cats’ environment with silvervine sticks and valerian root can help ease tension.
• Enjoy storytime by sharing heartwarming stories about other kids and their cats, inspiring your toddler’s love for her furry companion. Reading books or watching cat cartoons together can be a delightful experience.
• Once Clem has relaxed, continue with supervised interactions and treat giving.
• As your baby grows, invite her to help feed and groom the cat.
• Finally, plug in a Feliway diffuser to help maintain a serene atmosphere for both cats.
I hope this helps create a happy home for everyone.
All the best,
Melina