Published Mar 15, 2026
Kellie Gormly / Cats.com
I held my longhaired tuxedo cat, Elf – whom I rescued as a stray kitten – for the very first time when he was 10 years old. And it only happened because he was dying in my arms.
Yes, you read that right. Only with his imminent death, with Elf deeply sedated, would that stubborn cat let me hold him.
Elf was what I call a semiferal cat: not totally feral and very able to live an indoor domestic life, but poorly socialized and wanting humans to keep their distance. Elf did fine living the life of an indoor pet, and he wasn’t openly hostile or aggressive with people. But, this handsome cat with a thick, long mane was very fearful, anxious, skittish, and shy. Elf appeared to be a regular pet cat and would sometimes sit on the couch with me, or even occasionally nap at the foot of my bed. But I could not approach him, let alone try to handle him. He would run away, and attack if I cornered him.
So how did I end up with a cat like this? Well, I am a longtime rescuer and foster mother, and it’s an occupational risk of sorts – and one I have no regrets in accepting.
A Pair of Stray Brothers
I rescued Elf and his brother, Kringle – two fluffy little kittens, the latter a longhaired orange tabby – from a nearby factory during Christmas time in 2015 (hence the festive yuletide names). I don’t know where these strays came from, but they were stranded on a cold concrete floor and urgently needed a place to go. I brought both brothers home to be socialized in foster care at my house, and I intended to put them up for adoption through a rescue group when they were ready.
Kringle quickly warmed up to me and was very sweet. He was ready. But Elf was not – and, I later realized, he probably never would be ready for adoption. Elf stubbornly held on to his feral instincts and refused to become socialized. The kitten would hiss at me and give me the stink eye, and he would swat me if I tried to hold him. We tried offering up the littermates as a bonded pair through a PetSmart cage, but it did not go well.
Unless a miracle happened, Elf was simply unadoptable. What now?
This presented the rescue with a real dilemma: Do we try to keep the brothers together and hope someone is willing to take in a semiferal cat along with a sweet one? Do we split them up and get Kringle a home? And if we did that, what would we do with this semiferal kitten?
Sadly, yet typically, the only thing to do for a feral kitty that can’t be socialized and adopted is to get the animal fixed so it can’t reproduce, then turn the cat loose for a life outdoors as a stray – that is, if you can’t find someone with a barn to use the cat as a mouser and provide food and shelter.
But, difficult as it seemed, I knew there was a third option. In my heart, I knew there was no way I could condemn this kitten to a life of hardship outside. I just couldn’t do it; my heart wouldn’t let me, and I would have felt haunted every day by the thought of how the poor tuxedo kitten was doing, while his littermate was comfortable inside and missing him.
There was only one thing I could do: commit to adopting both brothers, even though one of them didn’t like me very much and maybe never would. I would have a loving cat in Kringle – and as for Elf, I would provide him the bare minimum of shelter, food, water and litter. I got him neutered and his kitten shots, of course, but getting this cat into a carrier was awful. I knew I’d have a huge problem if Elf ever got sick – and thankfully, he lasted a whole decade without getting sick. Until he did.
Semiferal but Domestic
Kellie Gormly / Cats.com
Although Elf never crossed over to the degree of being a cuddly cat, he did make some progress over the years. He was a funny cat who liked to play, and it was fun to watch him. It was hilarious when Elf was messing with the Christmas tree a few years ago, and a ball ornament hooked onto the tip of his fluffy tail. Elf nonchalantly wandered around the house with this dangling ball stuck to his tail, and it was so funny. He even took a liking to my pet sitter, Amanda, who despite not being able to handle him much, affectionately called Elf her “BFF.”
In the past couple of years, I’d even have these precious, spontaneous moments when Elf would actually approach me seeking pets and scratches around his head – and I even heard a soft purr a few times! Aawww! But, those moments were entirely on Elf’s terms and lasted no more than a few minutes. Then, he was back to his elusive, fearful, and aloof ways.
Sadly, Elf’s illness – which started showing symptoms in December and became critical in late January – might have been treatable if he were a cooperative cat, but it would have involved regular transport in a carrier to the vet, poking and prodding, medicating, etc. That simply isn’t possible with a cat like Elf; I have a bad wound on my hand, from the night of his euthanasia, to show this. And, he had nosedived in the past two months or so, so I knew Elf was miserable and not really living. He was just existing.
There really was only one option that made sense for me and Elf, as sad as it was: euthanasia.
The Rainbow Bridge
The vet brought him to the euthanasia room where I was waiting on the couch. She placed “Elfie,” wrapped in a blanket, in my arms, where he was cradled like a baby.
For the first time ever, I held this incorrigible cat without him protesting and stroked his silky long fur – surprisingly in good shape, despite never being brushed. I cherished every moment.
“Someday, I’ll see you at the Rainbow Bridge, and I’m going to hold you,” I told Elf through tears. “And you’re gonna let me!”
I almost expected him to wake up and give me the stink eye and a swat again! But, my Elf was gone.
I can honestly say I have no regrets about giving this cat a home; the alternative was unthinkable. Elf still brought joy into my home and life, despite his issues, and he loved his brother Kringle. And though he would never admit it, I think that deep down, Elf loved me just a little bit, too.
May my fluffy little stinker rest in peace.
Why You Should Take in an “Elf”
Kellie Gormly / Cats.com
Elf was a difficult cat, yes. But in many ways, he was the easiest cat to care for that I’d ever had, because he was so low-maintenance. He rarely wanted any attention from me; I just provided the shelter and food and water. And he didn’t cost me any money in veterinary care – typically, the most expensive part of cat parenting – because getting him to the vet would be difficult to impossible. I knew he would have to be pretty sick to justify trying that – and in the end, I only got Elf there because he was dying and weakened. Even then, because I had to jump on the opportunity before he split and hid, I didn’t have a chance to put on my thick gloves, and I still got a bad bite.
But, all things considered, I have zero regrets about keeping Elf and sparing him a life of hardship and loneliness out in the cold, heat, snow, and rain. My conscience and my heart would have gnawed away at me every day, worrying about that poor cat out there fending for himself, missing his brother who was safe inside with me.
Elf clearly could live as an indoor pet; I just knew that I had to accept him for who he was and where he was at, and not look to Elf for affection he didn’t want to give. I let Elf be Elf and gave him life on his own terms, and I looked to my other cats for bonding and affection. Then, during those rare moments in the last few years when Elf would seek out pets and head scritches, I cherished it and let him scurry when he was ready.
I hope that if you encounter the same situation someday – a semiferal kitten or cat that can live comfortably indoors, but otherwise wants you to keep your distance – you will step up and save the furbaby from suffering. And if the cat acts fully feral and cannot live an indoor life, you can still help the cat a lot – like I did for Tommy, an abandoned and aggressive cat for whom I set up a little outdoor sanctuary.
Stray and feral cats are undersocialized because of irresponsible humans, and it is not their fault. They are still precious cats who deserve the most comfortable life possible. Please do whatever you can to help one who may cross your path!